When she speaks, she howls

embracing the inner wild woman

I’ve never really considered getting a life coach. Until I did.

I’m a therapy girly and will always advocate for it. But transformative life coaching has been just that. Transformation.

In coaching we address some practical matters on what will help me to embrace the life I desire, like rebuilding a house. We are re-analyzing the fundamental building blocks and implementing new practices. This is what you believe you want; now how do we make it happen? While therapy feels like time travel, breaking down old patterns and revealing why the original house was falling apart in the first place, sorting through a lot of “stuff.” Therapy and coaching go hand in hand if you ask me.

At the end of our coaching session, I began sharing what I’d learned about the wild woman and how this archetype had been rearing into my life lately. I shared that I began to see the book Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype by Clarissa Pinkola Estés pop up everywhere. I kept hearing about it in so many different spaces and even books I was reading mentioned it. So, I joined in on the conversation and I listened to the book. I began to tell my coach about how I felt it related to the season I was in. And how befitting it was during this season of tapping into my innate power as a woman and how intertwined it has been with my purpose and creative expression.

My coach posed the question: Hmmm…I’m interested in this wild woman. What do you think she is here to teach you? You want to write more. Maybe you should try journaling, using your creative writing to tap into what you think a conversation would be like with her? Who is she?

And so, I did.

**Enters alternate reality…Join us for a short excerpt of our time together…

We started to walk around the market. She gleefully admired everyone there. I studied her. She was in her element. Hands behind her back, she didn’t reach for anything. Floating gracefully, she didn’t try to purchase a thing. I had a problem with wanting everything, impulsively grabbing it all. She just allowed herself to be present. Her hair was long, streaks of white between the dark brown, untamed with a personality of its own. She wore a combination of reds, burgundies, and yellows. Her loosely fitting clothing seemed to fit her body so complimentary. When people talk about your aura this is the person I imagine. I could see that being her name. But as my thoughts raced trying to track down why she was here and what she wanted with me, she began to talk simultaneously calming every nerve in my body.

Her: Have you thought about setting up here?

Me: Yes, but there’s a lot I need to do to get in here.

Her: So why haven’t you?

Me: I don’t know. So many other things are calling my name. I’m here and then I’m there. I feel everywhere right now. Next year.

Her: Things will always be calling you. But you do need to be here. Make sure it happens, okay?

Even what seemed to be a demand came off as enduring. We kept walking. I stopped at a jewelry booth. I picked up these long flowy silver earrings. They were beautiful.

Me: Do you have them in gold?

Jewelry Booth Guy: Let me check.

He looked around. I waited patiently. He came back. Nothing.

Him: No, I’m sorry I don’t but the silver ones are our best seller. People really do love them. Maybe you should try them out.

I tried them on. I thought to myself. Very cute. I could pair them with something. My closet is full of so much stuff, surely something will work. This will do.

Me: Okay I guess that works.

She whispered, “didn’t you want them in gold?”

“Yes” I said, “but they don’t have them.”

Her: Then leave it. Let’s go.

I squinch my face slightly confused as a child who was old enough to make a decision but was just told no. I can buy them anyway. I make my own decisions. And so, I did, knowing it was only because she told me not to.

She was bossy or maybe this was a lesson of assertiveness. I didn’t care. I didn’t like it. And I didn’t ask any questions.

We walked in silence for a bit. And then I finally said. “Well, I think I’m about done. Is there something you wanted to share with me today?”

She smiled and said no. I could tell there was something else.

Her: Marasia you are beautiful in more ways than one and you have been bold in this season, brave.

She paused.

I just hope you never forget what it feels like to be in your choice in your body. But the resistance you hold onto about what it is you really desire, will slow you down. You desire so much yet you take so little. The silver earrings are beautiful, but the gold is what you wanted. Go for what you want. You were born knowing what you want. Hold on to that. For every decision, know that you do actually know. [She pointed to my heart.] You’ve got a lot of big ones coming up. Trust yourself. You were born to be free. Free with a choice, many choices. Free to change your mind as often as you want. You are change. At every fork in the road choose your truth. If you ever become unsure, just call on me. I’ll be back. Flow is where your freedom lies.

She hugged and embraced me well, like she was preparing for a long trip.

Her: And before I forget to tell you - Your dreams were never just dreams. They were prophecy. And you will fulfill them.

I was silenced. I stood there in disbelief. She was gone before I even knew what happened. I realized I’d never asked her what her name was. I took a deep breath. She felt like the type of person who didn’t need one - a name. She was in the wind. She was in the trees, the sunshine on my golden skin. She was in the morning sip of tea. She was the ease of the Sunday morning. She was everywhere. She was no place at all.

And I took back the silver earrings.

Thank you for reading my “sode” (mini episode) of a conversation with the wild woman. I know her messages are continuous, especially in this season. This one was so intense for me I had to do a video podcast about this wild woman archetype from my viewpoint that can be found on my YouTube below. (And when I figure it out, I’ll upload it to Spotify/apple podcast).

I hope you’ll watch and share feedback, thoughts, perspectives etc.

-Marasia Simone